Redux

I'm 32, rolling towards 33, and I'm on my second life.

From the ages of 19 to 31, I was Steve Brown, National Yo-Yo Master. I headed up Marketing & Product Development & Promotions and all kinds of other crap at Duncan Yo-Yos for a while. I was at the top of an industry, I burned out hard, and I walked away from the whole shebang. It was fun while it lasted, then it stopped being fun. Then the acid reflux started, then the nightmares, and then it was time to shut out the lights and lock up behind me. I loved the work, but hated the people I was working for. Bad way to be.

In October 2007 my wife and I started up an excellent store and I began the process of redefining myself. I spend infinitely more time at home than I used to, raising my kids and taking care of my house. I spend a grotesque amount of time fretting about laundry and dishes and silly stuff that people who live in the suburbs worry about. Granted, that doesn't mean I've given up and settled...these things just now have more importance than they used to.

Shoparooni, in the short time it's been open, has already changed focus dramatically. We started off gunning for future kitsch (don't ask me to explain that, it just makes sense in my head) and now we've become a veritable emporium of locally-made goods and artwork. It's been interesting learning how to sell art, and the learning curve has made me dizzy. I'm suddenly a neophyte again, figuring things out the hard way and making my fair share of mistakes. I've had to shift gears from promoting things with hype to shutting the hell up and letting them do the work for me. It feels lazy, and that's because I haven't yet figured out what I'm supposed to be doing. I'll get there, eventually, but in the meantime I'm enjoying being able to immerse myself in art without being one of those people about it. I've been lucky to have some wonderful friends who I can say I'm genuinely a fan of their work, and I get to make other people fans. Emily, Chris, Phoebe, Julia, Amanda and others have entrusted me with their work, and I get to love it and appreciate it and teach other people the value of something intangible.

I don't think I'm very good at it yet, but I'll get there. It's hard letting something speak for itself when you've spent almost half your life as a spokesperson for stuff. But I'm learning to keep my mouth shut. I can hear many of you rising to your feet to applaud. Har de har har.

My kids are beautiful. My wife is my best friend and my nemesis, all in one. My store is amazing. My yo-yo tricks are still pretty alright, for an old guy. My math is weak but my writing is mighty. I have lost weight, in a good way.

And I have friends. Good ones. The "help you move a body" kind of friends. Lots of them, scattered to the winds and everywhere I turn. My life is lousy with 'em, and I can't possibly consider myself any luckier.

So I guess the question now is: what next?